Day 66

I think I just beat Keith.

In other news, Mike Veon--the State Representative for this district--was surprisingly defeated this past Tuesday. Despite being involved in some scandals, he was basically a shoo-in for re-election; he's an extremely popular Democrat in a very, very Democratic region, and was an "old boy." He lost to, as the Beaver County Times slantedly called him, a "novice." Mind you, I'm very much a political oddball, so this isn't some Republican v. Democrat grudge I have; I just hate the Old Boys Club mentality.

Regardless, the language used in the Times after the election was hilariously hyberbolic, moreso than anything I can get away with. One quote from a local rah-rah man was "Beaver County just commited suicide." Uh huh. And in an article the following day, the paper basically stacked up a ton of quotes saying that Veon was the only thing that made Beaver County worthwhile, so now that he was voted out we'll have to wallow in dung and misery.

So, in honor of all of this, I'm going to make some other extreme and hyperbolic quotes that the Times could have used. I'm wishing they would.

"By voting out Mike Veon, Beaver County just let the terrorists win."
"Where's the beef? Not in Beaver County, because they voted Mike Veon out."
"The sun will never shine now that Mike Veon lost the election."
"By voting out Mike Veon, Beaver County just baked a cake with a key hidden in it and sent it to Saddam in prison."
"Beaver County got rid of the only man who could stop global warming: Mike Veon."
"By voting out Mike Veon, Beaver County just made us lose the War on Terror."
"Christmas won't happen this year because Beaver County voted out Mike Veon. And it may never happen again."
"Who let the Commies win? Beaver County, because they voted out Mike Veon."
"The Huns will invade, all because Beaver County voted Mike Veon out of office."
"Beaver County is unpatriotic for voting out Mike Veon."

posted, with grace and poise, by Jason @ 11/10/2006 07:34:00 PM,


At 4:30 PM, Blogger Jason said...

What finally did Veon in were those stupid and annoying full-color flyers that local residents (including myself) received EVERY DAY for the ~1-2 weeks before the election. You know that our tax dollars were somehow funding those things...

My take on the Veon tidalwave:
Veon. Gone.

-- Jason

At 8:45 PM, Blogger Stacey said...

You forgot:
"By voting out Mike Veon, Beaver County killed the dinosaurs."
and, of course, the ever classic:
"Beaver County voted out Mike Veon. They must hate freedom."

Oh, local politics. Everyone in DC forgets that such things exist.

Hey, I know you've probably heard this question a zillion and one times, but when I come home for Thanksgiving will there be coffee in Beaver Falls? In the real coffee cups you promised me?

Hope all's well with you. I'll be coming into the bookstore over Thanksgiving break, not exactly sure when, but I'm sure I'll see you.

Take care!


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