Day 41

I think I'm blessed with a great amount of trust--bad things happen, for instance, and I'm able to get through it with less emotional wear and tear than you'd think. I usually think, "Well, God knows what He's doing; He'll use this to glorify Himself somehow."

One thing does, though--my parents. As in, they can say things that completely shatter my dreams, my hopes, my trust in things. I talked to my mom a little over an hour ago; what started as a simple "How was your day?" conversation ended with her essentially telling me that I make--and will soon make--a "pathetic" amount of money and that I'm going to be miserable, and how it's sad that I don't care. Interesting, I didn't think any of those things before now.

I'm fooling myself, probably; I know I don't really believe this. But I still feel dizzy and like I'm about to vomit and cry simultaniously. Having your normally chirpy, optimistic and docile mother tell you your hopes and dreams are sad is fairly life-shaking thing.

But maybe it isn't. I think I'm also incredibly upset because she said that. My mom said she was being realistic. I can understand that. But on the same token, I wanted to shout how she needed to be more trusting, not only in my choices, but in the Almighty God.

I'll sleep soon; I was hoping to finish an article for Comment tonight, but I'm do that in the morning. I'm thinking if I repeat Psalm 121, it might sink in.

posted, with grace and poise, by Jason @ 10/16/2006 10:49:00 PM,


At 2:36 AM, Blogger Janet said...

is making small amounts of money "pathetic"?

i'd like to believe that it is profound. money, i'd like to think, is so trivial to life.

doesn't it say somewhere in the bible that it is harder for a rich man to keep their relationship with the Lord as it should be? - i can't remember the verse at all... more so just the idea, i guess.

I hope someday i can live out my dreams and sacrifice my want for money and cool toys.

At 2:50 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Well, that's exactly why I posted this, Janet. I've never wanted to make loads of cash. I told my mom that I was fine with what I made, which prompted her tirade.

At 5:41 PM, Blogger Erica said...

oh wow -- I'm so sorry. That would leave me devestated.

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